DAMN IT...

My knees were wobbling last night! Why?!

GOD DAMN ELEVATOR DECIDED NOT TO WORK AT 3.30 IN THE FREAKING MORNING!!!!

I had to walk down a flight of stairs from the 21st freaking floor all the way down! If you're saying "Well, at least you're NOT going up to the 21st floor...." To hell with that! I'm an average pampered human being like YOU that depends on big-metal-box-with-long-big-metal-cable technology called the E-L-V-A-T-O-R!!! ESPECIALLY AT 3.30 IN DA MORNING!!! -.-# ...... it was kinda fun seeing a bunch of people walking in the opposite direction while huffing and puffing though. :D

HEADLINE : KIDNAPPED PLUSH-TOY FOUND BRUTALLY TORTURED!
splatspit, who had send his mom to work on a Thursday morning found Mr. Plush who was missing for 3 weeks under a van. What he saw caught his attention and he called the authorities immediately. During the interview splatspit said. "I TELL YOU! WHEN I SAW MR. PLUSH UNDER THE VAN... THE FIRST THING I SHOUTED WAS....HOLLLLY-FU**ING-CU**-MOT********R-SONOFA*****-PU***K-KIA! THIS PEOPLE SHOULD ALL GO TO HELL! HOW CAN THEY BE SO THE CRUEL!.. HOW THE FU..". The authorities then diverted their attention to Mr. Plush after getting way too much information. Mr. Plush said *squeaky tone* "I saw.. man.. man take me... man ask for where friends... plush no tell.. man tie plush under van... plush scared... man drag plush under vvan... man eeeeeevil.... plush...." *BAAAAAAANNGGGGGGGG*~~~~... mr. plush died on the spot.

-END-

moral of story : when you're the victim, do not drag your interview at the crime scene too long... you'll never know where the next sniper is gonna be....*jing*.... *jing*.... *jing*.....

Hmmm...

A good dose of music last night at Bangkok Jazz. Good night, good crowd and good company. It's been awhile since I've gone to a show. Pretty much chilling at quiet places having coffee and playing board games. Neck has been giving me problems again which has been draining me out. I need to see the chiro soon. Couple of weeks back I had a lot of questions running through my head due to a change of an event. Didn't really bother bout it but I got a few answers last night which kinda make sense now. My intuition was right again. History did repeat itself again. It was all too familiar. Which makes me wonder at times, am I thinking to much about it or is it just THAT obvious that it wasn't me thinking and it was more of the answer itself right in front of my face. Maybe it is. I do have doubts on my thoughts at times but after a couple of confirmations, man, it's true. The same views, the same topic and the same agreement. Best part.. I didn't ask for asnwers. I was just told about it. Hmm..

I guess it's true when you don't look for the missing pieces it will come to you. Being patient in certain ways does help solve many unanswered questions but when it comes to being patient with people, they tend to take you for granted, getting pin down for no particular reason. I've been through it a lot of times but last year and this year I've learned from my mistakes, there's always a limit to things. I'm slowly setting the limit. Worst bit I don't like doing it but I need to protect myself from nonsense that I don't deserve, which I've been getting a lot this year. Hmm...

Hmmm... Oh well... cheers! :D

Total Shutdown...

I'm sitting here at San Fran Uptown having my usual cup of coffee, feeling numb, the body is not very responsive, feeling sluggish and just relaxing. Thursday, Friday and Saturday has been crazy. Not so much on the work bit but the massive bunch of crazy people just made me go like... what the fuck? haha!... Well here's the story..

Thursday : The Setup
Left for work in the morning, was at PICC (Putrajaya International Convention Centre) by 11am. Done setting up and was just chilling a bit. Met the lighting guy who was from Singapore. He whipped out his phone. The first thing that came into my was.. "Wait a minute, that looks familiar.." So I decided to ask him about his phone, true enough it was an iPhone! o_O Okay... some of you MIGHT have see it but it was my first time call me ja-kun fella or whateva but I was like a lil kid seeing a new toy (i'm a geek mar.. wat to do) He showed me the phone, the features and I held the phone in my hands and the feeling was like.... nevermind... anyways, the phone, is just.... beyond words. O2's, dopod's, htc's, etc. all i can say is... beware. I feel in <3 with it. I WANT ONE! *emo* :( Anyhow after setting up at PICC, we went on to Kelab Tasek Putrajaya for another setup.

Friday : The Show at Kelab Tasek
Early start since the show was suppose to start at 2pm. Did some test here and there, was on standby, waiting for the bands and all. The part which I hate about the job, WAITING. It was damn sien wei. I've got to remind myself to bring my Nintendo DS Lite along with me when I do shows just to kill time. While walking around, I saw a familiar face. It was May, I asked what the hell she was doing here. She said "I'm the host". She asked me the same question, I said "I'm doing sound". Okay.... coincidence betul. That's not it.. the band arrived. I saw the drummer who kinda looked familiar. Shook hands and introduced ourselves he said, you look familiar... were you from ICOM before? I'm like... yeah, you look familiar too. Okay.... another coincidence. During the show I was walking around to check the sound balance of the band. Suddenly, I heard "Leonard???" I was thinking it can't be another person I'm going to bump into... I turned around, it was someone familiar, it was Jeremy, he was our client. Man, couldn't recognize him at the beginning. I suck when it comes to people. I can't recall their looks and names. Especially if I don't see them often enough.

Besides bumping into people, I managed to catch a glimpse on how kiasu people can get when it comes to food. Poor waiter who was carrying a huge plate of satay got swarmed by a huge number of people from India, Thailand, Singapore, Phillipines, and Malaysia. Definitely an eye opener. It was ridiculous. It was like.. lembu keluar kandang after 5 years of not eating. I had to move a flight case to the side because they were all barging into my work area! I was damn afraid that they would spill something over or knock into the consoles and what not. SCARRY! I'm having this image in my mind now, the people are like zombies... the waiter... the only human.... the hord zombies screaming "brAinssSSs... BRaiNssss...." after the single human brain, which would be the waiter. HAHAHAHAH! Shaun Of The Dead in real life! LOL!!!!!!

Also, it's the day I fell in love with the Nexo PS15 speakers. It was easy to do a full band mix on it. I told my guys that it was damn nice, all they have to say is... "Really? Join full time la.. then can use Nexo everyday. Even better, start full-time today!" -.-

Saturday : The Final Day
I just realized something working this 3 days. Working hard isn't a problem, the standby time is the one that's tiring. Tiring in the sense that all you get to do is sit down... and.... wait... for... 5 freaking hours for something to happen. Mix for another band for a cocktail party. Simple setup... still using my favourite speakers :D... and seriously it's just beautiful. Cocktail party started at... 6? 7? can't really remember since I was bored off my damn ass waiting. Before that I over heard someone saying "How are we gonna fit 2,000 people in here?!". I was like ... o_O. The place was small and knowing the fact that these people are crazy and loud.. I actually pumped up the volume on the monitors for the musicians. Well thinking that it would definitely be loud enough this time... I was wrong. The hord of zombies were louder. Once they entered the room. All I could do was shake my head. Some poor lady got hurt, she was bleeding on her knees, wrist and forehead. Don't know what happen though. I just stared at my boss and shake my head. The singers on stage were also asking me to pump up the vocals on the monitors again.

Once that was done we ventured down to the main hall. All we did was just... waitting. Didn't do anything cause the sound and light was handled by a some Singaporians. Packed up everything, headed back to the store, unload everything and by the time i got home it was already 4:30am. So.. I was at the store at 9:20am and reached home at 4:30am... working hours... about 5 hours..? The rest was just basically standby time.... you tell me sien or not?!!?!!?? :P

Pampered myself yesday, went shopping at the curve, bought 2 polo shirts. I'm starting to like wearing plain polo shirts. :D I've 4 colors with me right now, black, navy blue, green and white! hahaha! I need to get myself a maroon one soon. hehe! Headed down to laundry to chat with some of the bartenders, ordered myself a plate of fried sotong. Muching while sipping down countless cups of coke. Fulfilling... :)

The Job...

Was at the live sound company earlier on to collect my cheque. The boss was there. Had a brief casual discussion with him about me joining them full time. It went well but he got me thinking a lot. He was just trying to prepare me for the job. Wanting me to know how it's gonna be like working full-time with them. I've decided to do so next year. I just need to finish up a couple of things on the side to generate some income as well. He did say it's gonna be tough and reminded me how it was like when I was freelancing for them. Yes it's tiring, I have to agree with that. Tiring to the point that it made me doze off when I was driving back one day. I can handle jobs pretty well, as in nothing is tough for me once I'm in that drive I'm pretty much awake and enjoying myself. This job does worry me a bit. I can handle doing it part time. Even back to back shows, the amount of lifting and other stuff to do at one go but doing it full time and having the boss to remind me several times just now that IT'S NOT EASY kinda scared me a bit. I think he easily said it more than 5 times and asking me if I was really sure.

My perception of work is NOTHING is easy. I've done so many jobs and managed it pretty okay. I don't get over stressed out. Well once at this place I used to work and of course another place where the management was kinda bitchy. These guys in the company they're an okay bunch. Carefree, laughing most of the time I would say it's a pretty good working envirionment. As long as the environment is good, I'm fine even the work load is heavy.

Breaking down the pros and cons.

Pros
1. will be more of an systems engineer. Rigging and toubleshooting setups
(which is something I'm weak in and I've always wanted to learn)
2. getting my puny lil brain to think and be active in a good way.
(i've been too laid back lately I think my brain's really sluggish lately)
3. I won't need to be going to gyms to buff up. hahaha!
(the amount of lifting I did when I was working with them, the results are really scary)
4. travelling around to different states.
(i don't mind since i have been to other states)
5. seeing different sorts of interesting events.
(been to Pasir Gudang for their new vessel launch)
6. having to get hands-on experience on high end equipment.
(since clubs and what not are always limitted when it comes to gear)
7. this tops everything, the experience and able to learn more.
(knowledge is POWAH!... haha :D)

Cons
1. over working myself
(since I've got neck muscle spasms it's not gonna help lifting more heavy stuff)
2. I won't be seeing people and meeting new ones
(their back to back shows are really insane)
3. I won't be mixing much for live bands
(shows mainly on corporate events)
4. can be dull after awhile
(corporate events programs are almost the same)
5. I'll miss having to spend my alone time at San Fran
(the thing that I love doing for 5-6 years)
6. Will definitely lose touch in the malaysian music scene
(won't be able to go to much shows and gigs)
7. Won't be able to do my other stuff
(art, BOARD GAMES, and yum char sessions)

Well.. all i can say is I have been taking life to easy. I admit that. It's not something that I'm proud off. It's been bugging me. When I get the drive to do work I'm happy to see myself being more productive. I'm been a bum since high school I always need a kick start to get me moving. Like how I manage to pull off college last time. Working part-time as a marketing executive for Motorolla and studying at the same time. I saw improvements. I know myself super well. Too well till the point I hate myself for being that sort of person and it scares me. Change? Well, I've been working on that since ages and it's slowly getting better. It's only difficult when you're in your own comfort zone and I'm actually very happy having a simple lifestyle and it's obvious, coffee, ciggies, my hobbies and quality friends that I have. Close friends do know I go around everywhere by my own and I'm spontaneous... shows, gigs, coffee and even mamaks. Simple yet fulfulling.

My mom once said this... "You're very smart, the only problem with you is that you're really lazy." It's been in my head ever since she said it and I know she's right. One thing I have in common with my dad. We're just too damn super laid back. Buta-buta chop on forehead "EASY GOING". lol :D

I'm just gonna do what I can before I make my decision end of the year. 80% yes...

Self Inflicted Torture...

I had enough money in my hands to get myself a pack 20's or even 14's. I spent 4 hours in Midvalley Megamall today without having a stick. Has got to be the worst 4 hours ever... *sigh*. The first one hour was not to bad since I had my cup of coffee and my laptop with me. Manage to distract myself. The last 3 hours after that was... hell... HELL... :(

The feeling was so bad that it was worst than having a girl you like rejecting you again.. and again... and again... and.. *pause*... *thinks*... wait.. I think getting rejected is worst.. hahaha! :D Well, it does give that same heavy chest feeling though. Man, I just realized the similarities of being heartbroken and cutting down on ciggies. o_O The only difference would be...

Ciggies : You can always pick up smoking again! :D
Heartbroken : Well... erm... you're pretty much screwed... :P

Winner goes to Ciggies! Woohoo! Alright.. I think I'm zoning out again. This is definitely not fun at all. I can't focus. I feel sick. I have this heavy chest feeling. No fun at all... well... I bought myself a sketchbook and some stationery. Gonna start sketching t-shirt designs soon. Kinda wanna get that angled art desk. See whether I can find a cheap one or anyone out there has a second hand unit for sale? :D

I felt the pain when I said "NO"...

I've been chain smoking a lot. Those who know me or don't would say things like "What? Another one?". It's not because of stress or anything, it's just a bad habbit of liking the feeling of smoke going down your through into your lungs. I like that feeling a lot. Friday night something weird happen, I just felt so sick of smoking as if someone asked me to finnish a bucket of plain white rice. So I decided, I'm gonna take the initiative to cut down and eventually stop. Today, Saturday, I manage to only take 10 - 12 sticks and I was out from 2pm all the way till 3am. I could have easily smoked 2 packs. So it is and achievement! *confetti*... *pats own back*

Hopefully I can keep this up. I'm already suffering right now. Flu starting to build up. My eyes are getting smaller every minute. Slowly feeling sleepy and weak. Cold turkey, here I come! Better suffer through this and just get over with it.

Relating to my subject about the pain saying "NO", well, Elaine called me sometime at night just now while I was at Zouk for Junk Impulse music night. The day I decided to slowdown...

*phone rang*
Elaine: Hey, I'm at KLIA duty free. You want 1 carton or not? Quick!
Me: Shit... er..er.... N-n...no... le it's ok..
Elaine: You sure or not??? Faster! Yes or No?
Me: *chest feeling heavy* (it did seriously)... No.. No... don't buy..
Elaine: Okay, Bye..

Sigh.. Can't believe I said NO to 1 carton. Oh well... anyways, thanks Elaine, I know you read my blog cause you tell me that you do. hahaha! 1 confirmed reader. Love this woman to bits *hugs*. Okay, time to stop blogging cause I'm slowly losing focus now. If I get cranky, which I don't, thousand apologies to whoever. I think the only thing that you're gonna hear from me when cold turkey kicks in would be... "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!... DAMN SAN FU!!!!!!... AHHHHHH!!!" ... Nitez :D

November...

Can't believe that it's already November. The end of 2007 is approaching. Let's see what has happen so far for this year. Hmmm..

1. Met a couple of new people.
2. Got into a lot of mess that I don't deserve.
3. Fixed a lot of mess but still in a mess, at least I did my part.
4. Achieved being Botak for the first time. LOL!
5. Got to do different interesting jobs for both design, audio and web.
6. Didn't get my ass to Melbourne because of a job offer.
7. That job didn't happen.
8. Found a new job to start full time next year.
9. Won a t-shirt design competition.
10. Less stress after finding the source of my problem.
11. More outgoing and definitely crazier than before.
12. Enjoying life day by day
13. Getting hooked on board games BIG TIME.
14. Found two business opportunities.
15. Need to get both done end of November.
16. Learning not to be to nice all the time so that I won't get bullied and taken for granted.
17. Got to rock climb but stopped because of money issues.
18. Found out that a couple of close friends abroad are coming back. :D
19. Got to finally experience the feeling of being really stone.
20. Having to lose a dear lady who's like a second mom to me. :(
21. Moved on from someone who I was interested for 5 years. Stupid me.
22. Found out the real meaning of "You can't change the stripes on a tiger."
23. Tore my Powerbook G4 12" apart to install a new HD by myself.
24. Started blogging again to let my thoughts out.
25. Thinking bout the good times and laughs with a lot of people. :D
26. Seeing improvements which I didn't like about myself and managing it pretty alright. :)

Stating 26 items and being 26... okay what... hahaha! Damn corny. Still a lot to learn gonna compare this list again next year. Gambate to me! Woohoo!.... :D