Confirmed...

I've got a new job! Starting next month 2nd of June. Sound stuff I'm gonna put aside.. Been to a couple of other interviews, this is the best so far... the sort of work that I would enjoy doing. Friends were happy with my new job offer... most congratulated me and asked me what is it all about... Getting to know what I've been doing so far... Even if I was struggling as a freelancer but I manage to learn a lot from that experience and got to meet new people who were willing to offer me more jobs. Kinda disappointed when I was talking to friend A bout my new job and telling him I'm starting full time, while friend A was happy and congratulated me on the job... friend B didn't even asked anything about my new job or what I've been doing, he just butted in by saying "Finally...." the ONLY one that gave me that response... Not sure what friend B was trying to imply but I'll definitely remember this incident for sure...

Will be in singapore this month... for a short holiday maybe... and also to do a show...

It's been good so far and I'm happy.. :)

Art Attack...

DJ Bored

I did a 10 minute sketch...
Took a picture of it...
Loaded it on my computer...
Got photoshop running...
Messed around with colors...
Gave it some airbrush shadows...
Got so bored with it....
Finalized it...
Time stamped it...

siennnn.... :P

April Weather Report...

Everything seems to be going according to the weather...

Dad has been biting because...
.. of my mom's car :
- got the busted radiator fan fixed. Got back late that night I heard the fan running and I've got my key's with me. Went in the house laughed and told my dad that the radiator fan doesn't turn off. He barked at me "Why didn't you check before you leave the mechanic?" I'm like... wat the? I just noticed because it was quiet, as if i could hear it in the day when it's so noisy outside. Even my mechanic got a shock and I got blamed.

.. I didn't pick up my moms car after sending it back :
- it was raining heavily the whole afternoon. No one called me. Usually the mechanic calls my dad when the car's ready. I got barked at again. "Why didn't u pick up the car?!". I said it was raining heavily, then again how am I suppose to pick up the car when there car's there? He said this after I replied "Why didn't you call him?!" I'm like... I don't have his number and he always alias with you. Why is it my fault again? The mechanic picked me up after that and he was explaining that he was out and the bad weather. I told him I understand.. I said to myself.. my dad doesn't..

Mom's paranoid with car has been asking me over and over again, I keep telling her it's fine.. don't worry I'll gett it fixed.. just use the other car first and even then she's paranoid with the other car... I said it's fine and she keeps questioning me again and again about the car. I can't answer everything especially when I told you I'm going to send it to the mechanic... chill la... It's really getting to me...

Someone who I always laughed with, throwing jokes at each other suddenly became serious this week. I'm even afraid to joke or tease, I don't even know what to say now. I'm just keeping quiet. Another one just messaged me online out of the blue after an incident and I don't even know what to say, I left the disappointed part aside about a year ago because you proved couple of things to me already, so now I'm just speechless. Just remember that I was there for your ups and downs. That's good enough for me.

Stop picking on me. I'm not a punching bag. I'm not even fighting back. I'm not even saying anything cause I don't wanna spark any misunderstanding. Please ask YOURSELVES what's going on first before approaching me. Really buta-buta kena this month. Dah already insomnia problem getting from bad to worst, fever coming and going, sore throat building up (had korean BBQ tonight though heheh :P)..... *sigh*

*stretch....* blogging and music... best therapy to chill :D

More work?...

Sure!...

Keep bringing in the work! I'm on a roll! Finalizing one website. Still waiting for my friggin' namecard that's taking TOO long. Ear's a bit ringing now. Just got back from Laundry for the Juke Joint Jupiter - Third Time Lucky. Needed to get out after staring at the computer doing work for awhile. Had more discussions with Momo bout our plans. Looking good. Let's see what have I done so far and what's coming up...

03/03 - Boh Cameronian Nominees party (Alexis Garden)

Supplied and did sound for Zalina and her crew. That woman cracks me up. Got some, "Hey, you look familiar.." Not much during the event, Zalina and her crew did ONE song and that was it! Met some people during the event that I haven't seen in ages. Been missing out on the local seen a bit... I've been quiet... I still like having my usual day at MV with my cup of coffee alone.. :)


09/03 - Sound for One Buck Short

Day before was soundcheck, was halfway watching the election results. On the day itself was pretty much fun, dealing with bad indoor acoustics as usual but was manageable. First time using CODA AUDIO (not sure which model), a bit to bright for my liking. Didn't have enough low mid's. Would be nice for a nice chill out swing jazz band though. They played 3 songs and it was for the Sunburst music festival promo. Still not sure if I'm going for the show. :\

14/3 - Sedaya College

Which is TODAY! Probably sitting in for one of their rehearsals. It's for a some show. Not to sure, well more like forgot a bout the details. Needed to do sound for this huge fusion big band performance. Gonna be quite interesting. Not sure when's the actual show though but we'll see how it goes. Might be doing sound for them, thanks to Adil.

15/3 - Sunburst Music Festival

ARGGGGGGHHHHHH! TO GO OR NOT TO GO!? Reason to go : Go and see how's it loh. ReasonS not to go : Bad weather, traffic, crowd, people, jam, pushing... i got a slight claustrophobic problem.

21/3 - There's something, but I can't remember.. :(

22/3 - Might have a wedding show to do

So far that's it, I think. Back to finalizing my clients website. Don't ask me why but I just feel like having a nice glass of Guinness Stout :)

When the job stops, the brain goes wild...

It's been a good four day rest. Last day of work was on Saturday and it's good thing I stopped cause my eardrums were already ringing. Everything sounded so muffled and I even found difficulty when people were speaking to me. Yeap! It was that bad! I'm slowly seeing improvements, will be avoiding gigs and shows for this whole month.

The past for days was good. I didn't have to rush to work when I was out but there's still a slight "kan-cheong"ness when it hits 8.30pm cause that's the time I normally prepare myself for work. Meetings for the upcoming "project" looks promising. Hopefully it will be ready by the 29th of January. There MIGHT be a soft launch if I have enough money with me la. Donations and sponsors ARE welcome of course *big bloody hint hint*. Kinda excited about it and worried at the same time. We'll see how it goes la. :)

The "penang babysitter" called me yesterday. Man, he got it bad la. I was on a roll! I even gave him a nickname last night. My logic was "What to do, I'm jobless. so my mind is free to come up with more nonsense!". Was out with "to-fu" last night, started sketching on her organizer. I love sketching random stuff. Hell, you know what's even more random? We were talking about Rapunzel later that night. Don't know why but I just said this...

splatspit : "eh... imagine if Rapunzel was this rude Hong Kong girl..."

to-fu : *eating her maggie goreng and sipping her drink*

splatspit : "... and then hor the prince goes to the tower and says "rapunzel, rapunzel... let down your hair..." and then she did..."

to-fu : *still eating her maggie goreng and sipping her drink*

splatspit : "... when the prince started climbing suddenly rapunzel screams... "SEI FEI HAI!!! YOU DAMN KAU HEAVY!!! PAIN LA YOU BITCH!! YOU WANT ME TO DIE IS IT?!?! MAH HAI!"

to-fu : *one hand on mouth trying not to spit her food/drink while laughing*

End... (got long continuation but lazy to type)

Happy 2nd Day of New Year!

I miss the first day on zhe blog. How was it for me? I was working! I brought 2007 along and left it at work. Crowd was crazy! No fun at all siut. Having to get Flying-Kung-Fu-Dancing arms whacking me here and there while trying to monitor how the band sounds from the main dance area was torture with the capital T... and E at the end... Had a nice short family dinner on the the first day which was a couple of hours back. Mom had to open her big moth on job issues comparing my sisters salary and mine! She nicely put words in my mouth saying that I was comparing. First thing I said was "HALLO!!!! WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS?!? YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS COMPARING AND NOW YOU POINT FINGERS AT ME?!".. mom started laughing and said.."but.. but.." I went "BUT WHAT?!" She just went on laughing... celaka betul. This is not the first. Every time me pulak yang kena. Rubbish! -_-

Enough of that nonsense, will be going to negotiate for another job offer tomorrow. HOPE.. it turns out well. If it does also another headache because I've got another one standing by. Leaving this current one cause I treasure my ears and it's my source of income. :\ Don't you just hate it when you got NO job offers there's none and when there is, you have to choose! Keeping me options open. This years resolution NO. 1 "Work hard for the MONEY and leave MR. FUN aside". :) Once I get Decembers pay, it's back to the Magician to fix my neck and shoulder problems... again. Sadness. Always affect my mood and my drive to get things done. :\

Oh... today I got some news as well from someone. After a long chit chat I've got info bout some stuff. As I predicted after analyzing and what not. It actually came true. I get to use "I told you.." again! Depending whether the opportunity is given la. In fact I think it will. It's always the case when I give my opinion about certain things to people and they go against it or doubt it. It's not wrong for them cause I'm not right either. It's just an open discussion. The difference is I get to say "I told you.." because it's behaviors that I come across a lot of times. It's so typical. So common. I can't help but just to let people know about it. Simple fact that I care and I'm NOT using it for my damn advantage. WAKE UP ALREADY! :P New year resolution NO. 2 "Still trying not to be too nice". Not easy since I feel guilt even I'm not in the wrong. Sucks kan? :\

Lastly there's 3 special people in my neighborhood that has been always there for me last year. The once that I get calls often. The once that I get to have a good laugh every time after work. No matter how busy I or they get there's always a time to chat and laugh. Without them, I think I can just put my phone aside la... hahahahah! The "to-fu", "chi-bai", and the "chi-mui". You ROCK my world la wei! Will have a toast soon. Tengah tunggu my pay. :)

That's all for my New Year post. I shall leave you with one New Years Eve picture.....

"We bartenders will not fall! We p0wn'ed the drunkards!"

X'mas and New Year...

X'mas and New Years eve... Both the eves that I don't really enjoy when there's work! haha! Crowded places, having to pump up the levels for music when and the noise. The only time I get to go to parties is in the afternoons. Musicians and soundman hardly get a chance to party during this time of the year, why? Work! Then again we don't get parties at night! :P

Had a great time at Mia's X'mas party this year. This year was better simply because the food gets better and better. We're talking about shit loads of salmon, chicken wings and of course, lamb! Super stuffed myself to the MAX. Some friends didn't get to see that all-you-can-eat side of me. They finally did on X'mas day. haha! Sipping down a couple of cups of Gin, had to down a shot of tequila and one weird as black rice wine. o_O Tasted kinda funky. It was like some soya sauce+caramel+coffee+chinese wine for cooking kinda taste all together. Kinda nice and smooth. :P Haven't had SO many slices of BBQ-ed salmon in my life! Oh and not to forget 3 plates of my favorite dessert! To die for! So rich yet so refreshing. Kinda malas wanna post pictures here. Had so much fun chilling and chatting. :)

Okay, I just got back from work so.. kinda off a bit. Lastly... hmmm.. I wanna to say something but I'm just gonna let it be for a while more and see what other surprises I'm gonna get. :)

Gah... *sniff*...

I'm having a cold. Sniffing, having a watery nose and crumpled tissues here and there isn't fun at all. It's annoying. Accepted a job at PJ Hilton, Uncle Chilli's last week. My nights of going to gigs and what not this month is over. Not to mention... no... board games... for a month. Sadness maximus. I miss Puerto Rico with my "chi mui" and the "chi bai". One "bass player" is gonna fly off back to Boston tomorrow, gonna miss that fool plus our Chilli's ritual tak jadi this time around. The "San Fran Clan" is back in KL, had quite a fun day in KL with "Female San Fran Clan" and "indian wax". I think "Male San Fran" should be back from Singapore already. Hmmm. Waiting for my "MODEL" (lol!) to come back from Hawaii, looking forward to "dim sum" with her. Called a very "special lady" friend today, which I haven't spoke to in ages, someone I look up too and she never fails to remind me how lucky I am with what I have whenever I think of her. She keeps my 2 feet on the ground all the time and always make my heart sink with her stories. She's got a heart even purer than gold. The "independent tau-fu" has been nagging me to take care of myself almost everyday since I've been sick. She accompanied me to have poridge for dinner before I went to work that day. Thanks! :) Played badminton this morning with "the 3 stooges" (one of them happens to be my dad) this morning. The "new boss" kinda easy going and nice. Met up with my "Cancerian half" who's my guide in character, I think she's the only person who really knows my mind and character spot on. The only person who's been really honest and blunt about my faults in a harsh but yet nice way (don't know how to explain). I've NEVER got a chance to say "wait a minute...", "but..." or any doubts whenever she tells me about me. The "mother of Alfredo" made me realize that she's the only person so far that I could talk in an adult-understanding manner with when there was something going on between us last year. Thanks for appreciating the person I am and not taking me for granted. :) Haven't seen my "brother" in ages too. Have to have san fran with him soon before he goes for his holiday. I also miss having coffee with "Malaysian Cameron Diaz" at uptown san fran. Another san fran kaki also i miss having coffee with is "Ms. Boo", finally she was in PJ. My music kaki. Also... she and her "best friend" are still best of friends in secret! WAHAHAH! I know I'm gonna get smacked when she reads this :D RIGHT OR NOT "Ms. Boo"?! :D

Just realize I side track again.. haha! This shows how bad my focus is.. was suppose to bitch about flu and with some cock nonsense story but ended up writing bout people. The real reason why I'm not a musician. I get distracted easily :P Time to sleep. Need to be at the "bass player" punya house early in the morning before he leaves and not sure when is he coming back next. :\

DAMN IT...

My knees were wobbling last night! Why?!

GOD DAMN ELEVATOR DECIDED NOT TO WORK AT 3.30 IN THE FREAKING MORNING!!!!

I had to walk down a flight of stairs from the 21st freaking floor all the way down! If you're saying "Well, at least you're NOT going up to the 21st floor...." To hell with that! I'm an average pampered human being like YOU that depends on big-metal-box-with-long-big-metal-cable technology called the E-L-V-A-T-O-R!!! ESPECIALLY AT 3.30 IN DA MORNING!!! -.-# ...... it was kinda fun seeing a bunch of people walking in the opposite direction while huffing and puffing though. :D

HEADLINE : KIDNAPPED PLUSH-TOY FOUND BRUTALLY TORTURED!
splatspit, who had send his mom to work on a Thursday morning found Mr. Plush who was missing for 3 weeks under a van. What he saw caught his attention and he called the authorities immediately. During the interview splatspit said. "I TELL YOU! WHEN I SAW MR. PLUSH UNDER THE VAN... THE FIRST THING I SHOUTED WAS....HOLLLLY-FU**ING-CU**-MOT********R-SONOFA*****-PU***K-KIA! THIS PEOPLE SHOULD ALL GO TO HELL! HOW CAN THEY BE SO THE CRUEL!.. HOW THE FU..". The authorities then diverted their attention to Mr. Plush after getting way too much information. Mr. Plush said *squeaky tone* "I saw.. man.. man take me... man ask for where friends... plush no tell.. man tie plush under van... plush scared... man drag plush under vvan... man eeeeeevil.... plush...." *BAAAAAAANNGGGGGGGG*~~~~... mr. plush died on the spot.

-END-

moral of story : when you're the victim, do not drag your interview at the crime scene too long... you'll never know where the next sniper is gonna be....*jing*.... *jing*.... *jing*.....

Hmmm...

A good dose of music last night at Bangkok Jazz. Good night, good crowd and good company. It's been awhile since I've gone to a show. Pretty much chilling at quiet places having coffee and playing board games. Neck has been giving me problems again which has been draining me out. I need to see the chiro soon. Couple of weeks back I had a lot of questions running through my head due to a change of an event. Didn't really bother bout it but I got a few answers last night which kinda make sense now. My intuition was right again. History did repeat itself again. It was all too familiar. Which makes me wonder at times, am I thinking to much about it or is it just THAT obvious that it wasn't me thinking and it was more of the answer itself right in front of my face. Maybe it is. I do have doubts on my thoughts at times but after a couple of confirmations, man, it's true. The same views, the same topic and the same agreement. Best part.. I didn't ask for asnwers. I was just told about it. Hmm..

I guess it's true when you don't look for the missing pieces it will come to you. Being patient in certain ways does help solve many unanswered questions but when it comes to being patient with people, they tend to take you for granted, getting pin down for no particular reason. I've been through it a lot of times but last year and this year I've learned from my mistakes, there's always a limit to things. I'm slowly setting the limit. Worst bit I don't like doing it but I need to protect myself from nonsense that I don't deserve, which I've been getting a lot this year. Hmm...

Hmmm... Oh well... cheers! :D

Total Shutdown...

I'm sitting here at San Fran Uptown having my usual cup of coffee, feeling numb, the body is not very responsive, feeling sluggish and just relaxing. Thursday, Friday and Saturday has been crazy. Not so much on the work bit but the massive bunch of crazy people just made me go like... what the fuck? haha!... Well here's the story..

Thursday : The Setup
Left for work in the morning, was at PICC (Putrajaya International Convention Centre) by 11am. Done setting up and was just chilling a bit. Met the lighting guy who was from Singapore. He whipped out his phone. The first thing that came into my was.. "Wait a minute, that looks familiar.." So I decided to ask him about his phone, true enough it was an iPhone! o_O Okay... some of you MIGHT have see it but it was my first time call me ja-kun fella or whateva but I was like a lil kid seeing a new toy (i'm a geek mar.. wat to do) He showed me the phone, the features and I held the phone in my hands and the feeling was like.... nevermind... anyways, the phone, is just.... beyond words. O2's, dopod's, htc's, etc. all i can say is... beware. I feel in <3 with it. I WANT ONE! *emo* :( Anyhow after setting up at PICC, we went on to Kelab Tasek Putrajaya for another setup.

Friday : The Show at Kelab Tasek
Early start since the show was suppose to start at 2pm. Did some test here and there, was on standby, waiting for the bands and all. The part which I hate about the job, WAITING. It was damn sien wei. I've got to remind myself to bring my Nintendo DS Lite along with me when I do shows just to kill time. While walking around, I saw a familiar face. It was May, I asked what the hell she was doing here. She said "I'm the host". She asked me the same question, I said "I'm doing sound". Okay.... coincidence betul. That's not it.. the band arrived. I saw the drummer who kinda looked familiar. Shook hands and introduced ourselves he said, you look familiar... were you from ICOM before? I'm like... yeah, you look familiar too. Okay.... another coincidence. During the show I was walking around to check the sound balance of the band. Suddenly, I heard "Leonard???" I was thinking it can't be another person I'm going to bump into... I turned around, it was someone familiar, it was Jeremy, he was our client. Man, couldn't recognize him at the beginning. I suck when it comes to people. I can't recall their looks and names. Especially if I don't see them often enough.

Besides bumping into people, I managed to catch a glimpse on how kiasu people can get when it comes to food. Poor waiter who was carrying a huge plate of satay got swarmed by a huge number of people from India, Thailand, Singapore, Phillipines, and Malaysia. Definitely an eye opener. It was ridiculous. It was like.. lembu keluar kandang after 5 years of not eating. I had to move a flight case to the side because they were all barging into my work area! I was damn afraid that they would spill something over or knock into the consoles and what not. SCARRY! I'm having this image in my mind now, the people are like zombies... the waiter... the only human.... the hord zombies screaming "brAinssSSs... BRaiNssss...." after the single human brain, which would be the waiter. HAHAHAHAH! Shaun Of The Dead in real life! LOL!!!!!!

Also, it's the day I fell in love with the Nexo PS15 speakers. It was easy to do a full band mix on it. I told my guys that it was damn nice, all they have to say is... "Really? Join full time la.. then can use Nexo everyday. Even better, start full-time today!" -.-

Saturday : The Final Day
I just realized something working this 3 days. Working hard isn't a problem, the standby time is the one that's tiring. Tiring in the sense that all you get to do is sit down... and.... wait... for... 5 freaking hours for something to happen. Mix for another band for a cocktail party. Simple setup... still using my favourite speakers :D... and seriously it's just beautiful. Cocktail party started at... 6? 7? can't really remember since I was bored off my damn ass waiting. Before that I over heard someone saying "How are we gonna fit 2,000 people in here?!". I was like ... o_O. The place was small and knowing the fact that these people are crazy and loud.. I actually pumped up the volume on the monitors for the musicians. Well thinking that it would definitely be loud enough this time... I was wrong. The hord of zombies were louder. Once they entered the room. All I could do was shake my head. Some poor lady got hurt, she was bleeding on her knees, wrist and forehead. Don't know what happen though. I just stared at my boss and shake my head. The singers on stage were also asking me to pump up the vocals on the monitors again.

Once that was done we ventured down to the main hall. All we did was just... waitting. Didn't do anything cause the sound and light was handled by a some Singaporians. Packed up everything, headed back to the store, unload everything and by the time i got home it was already 4:30am. So.. I was at the store at 9:20am and reached home at 4:30am... working hours... about 5 hours..? The rest was just basically standby time.... you tell me sien or not?!!?!!?? :P

Pampered myself yesday, went shopping at the curve, bought 2 polo shirts. I'm starting to like wearing plain polo shirts. :D I've 4 colors with me right now, black, navy blue, green and white! hahaha! I need to get myself a maroon one soon. hehe! Headed down to laundry to chat with some of the bartenders, ordered myself a plate of fried sotong. Muching while sipping down countless cups of coke. Fulfilling... :)

The Job...

Was at the live sound company earlier on to collect my cheque. The boss was there. Had a brief casual discussion with him about me joining them full time. It went well but he got me thinking a lot. He was just trying to prepare me for the job. Wanting me to know how it's gonna be like working full-time with them. I've decided to do so next year. I just need to finish up a couple of things on the side to generate some income as well. He did say it's gonna be tough and reminded me how it was like when I was freelancing for them. Yes it's tiring, I have to agree with that. Tiring to the point that it made me doze off when I was driving back one day. I can handle jobs pretty well, as in nothing is tough for me once I'm in that drive I'm pretty much awake and enjoying myself. This job does worry me a bit. I can handle doing it part time. Even back to back shows, the amount of lifting and other stuff to do at one go but doing it full time and having the boss to remind me several times just now that IT'S NOT EASY kinda scared me a bit. I think he easily said it more than 5 times and asking me if I was really sure.

My perception of work is NOTHING is easy. I've done so many jobs and managed it pretty okay. I don't get over stressed out. Well once at this place I used to work and of course another place where the management was kinda bitchy. These guys in the company they're an okay bunch. Carefree, laughing most of the time I would say it's a pretty good working envirionment. As long as the environment is good, I'm fine even the work load is heavy.

Breaking down the pros and cons.

Pros
1. will be more of an systems engineer. Rigging and toubleshooting setups
(which is something I'm weak in and I've always wanted to learn)
2. getting my puny lil brain to think and be active in a good way.
(i've been too laid back lately I think my brain's really sluggish lately)
3. I won't need to be going to gyms to buff up. hahaha!
(the amount of lifting I did when I was working with them, the results are really scary)
4. travelling around to different states.
(i don't mind since i have been to other states)
5. seeing different sorts of interesting events.
(been to Pasir Gudang for their new vessel launch)
6. having to get hands-on experience on high end equipment.
(since clubs and what not are always limitted when it comes to gear)
7. this tops everything, the experience and able to learn more.
(knowledge is POWAH!... haha :D)

Cons
1. over working myself
(since I've got neck muscle spasms it's not gonna help lifting more heavy stuff)
2. I won't be seeing people and meeting new ones
(their back to back shows are really insane)
3. I won't be mixing much for live bands
(shows mainly on corporate events)
4. can be dull after awhile
(corporate events programs are almost the same)
5. I'll miss having to spend my alone time at San Fran
(the thing that I love doing for 5-6 years)
6. Will definitely lose touch in the malaysian music scene
(won't be able to go to much shows and gigs)
7. Won't be able to do my other stuff
(art, BOARD GAMES, and yum char sessions)

Well.. all i can say is I have been taking life to easy. I admit that. It's not something that I'm proud off. It's been bugging me. When I get the drive to do work I'm happy to see myself being more productive. I'm been a bum since high school I always need a kick start to get me moving. Like how I manage to pull off college last time. Working part-time as a marketing executive for Motorolla and studying at the same time. I saw improvements. I know myself super well. Too well till the point I hate myself for being that sort of person and it scares me. Change? Well, I've been working on that since ages and it's slowly getting better. It's only difficult when you're in your own comfort zone and I'm actually very happy having a simple lifestyle and it's obvious, coffee, ciggies, my hobbies and quality friends that I have. Close friends do know I go around everywhere by my own and I'm spontaneous... shows, gigs, coffee and even mamaks. Simple yet fulfulling.

My mom once said this... "You're very smart, the only problem with you is that you're really lazy." It's been in my head ever since she said it and I know she's right. One thing I have in common with my dad. We're just too damn super laid back. Buta-buta chop on forehead "EASY GOING". lol :D

I'm just gonna do what I can before I make my decision end of the year. 80% yes...

Self Inflicted Torture...

I had enough money in my hands to get myself a pack 20's or even 14's. I spent 4 hours in Midvalley Megamall today without having a stick. Has got to be the worst 4 hours ever... *sigh*. The first one hour was not to bad since I had my cup of coffee and my laptop with me. Manage to distract myself. The last 3 hours after that was... hell... HELL... :(

The feeling was so bad that it was worst than having a girl you like rejecting you again.. and again... and again... and.. *pause*... *thinks*... wait.. I think getting rejected is worst.. hahaha! :D Well, it does give that same heavy chest feeling though. Man, I just realized the similarities of being heartbroken and cutting down on ciggies. o_O The only difference would be...

Ciggies : You can always pick up smoking again! :D
Heartbroken : Well... erm... you're pretty much screwed... :P

Winner goes to Ciggies! Woohoo! Alright.. I think I'm zoning out again. This is definitely not fun at all. I can't focus. I feel sick. I have this heavy chest feeling. No fun at all... well... I bought myself a sketchbook and some stationery. Gonna start sketching t-shirt designs soon. Kinda wanna get that angled art desk. See whether I can find a cheap one or anyone out there has a second hand unit for sale? :D

I felt the pain when I said "NO"...

I've been chain smoking a lot. Those who know me or don't would say things like "What? Another one?". It's not because of stress or anything, it's just a bad habbit of liking the feeling of smoke going down your through into your lungs. I like that feeling a lot. Friday night something weird happen, I just felt so sick of smoking as if someone asked me to finnish a bucket of plain white rice. So I decided, I'm gonna take the initiative to cut down and eventually stop. Today, Saturday, I manage to only take 10 - 12 sticks and I was out from 2pm all the way till 3am. I could have easily smoked 2 packs. So it is and achievement! *confetti*... *pats own back*

Hopefully I can keep this up. I'm already suffering right now. Flu starting to build up. My eyes are getting smaller every minute. Slowly feeling sleepy and weak. Cold turkey, here I come! Better suffer through this and just get over with it.

Relating to my subject about the pain saying "NO", well, Elaine called me sometime at night just now while I was at Zouk for Junk Impulse music night. The day I decided to slowdown...

*phone rang*
Elaine: Hey, I'm at KLIA duty free. You want 1 carton or not? Quick!
Me: Shit... er..er.... N-n...no... le it's ok..
Elaine: You sure or not??? Faster! Yes or No?
Me: *chest feeling heavy* (it did seriously)... No.. No... don't buy..
Elaine: Okay, Bye..

Sigh.. Can't believe I said NO to 1 carton. Oh well... anyways, thanks Elaine, I know you read my blog cause you tell me that you do. hahaha! 1 confirmed reader. Love this woman to bits *hugs*. Okay, time to stop blogging cause I'm slowly losing focus now. If I get cranky, which I don't, thousand apologies to whoever. I think the only thing that you're gonna hear from me when cold turkey kicks in would be... "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!... DAMN SAN FU!!!!!!... AHHHHHH!!!" ... Nitez :D

November...

Can't believe that it's already November. The end of 2007 is approaching. Let's see what has happen so far for this year. Hmmm..

1. Met a couple of new people.
2. Got into a lot of mess that I don't deserve.
3. Fixed a lot of mess but still in a mess, at least I did my part.
4. Achieved being Botak for the first time. LOL!
5. Got to do different interesting jobs for both design, audio and web.
6. Didn't get my ass to Melbourne because of a job offer.
7. That job didn't happen.
8. Found a new job to start full time next year.
9. Won a t-shirt design competition.
10. Less stress after finding the source of my problem.
11. More outgoing and definitely crazier than before.
12. Enjoying life day by day
13. Getting hooked on board games BIG TIME.
14. Found two business opportunities.
15. Need to get both done end of November.
16. Learning not to be to nice all the time so that I won't get bullied and taken for granted.
17. Got to rock climb but stopped because of money issues.
18. Found out that a couple of close friends abroad are coming back. :D
19. Got to finally experience the feeling of being really stone.
20. Having to lose a dear lady who's like a second mom to me. :(
21. Moved on from someone who I was interested for 5 years. Stupid me.
22. Found out the real meaning of "You can't change the stripes on a tiger."
23. Tore my Powerbook G4 12" apart to install a new HD by myself.
24. Started blogging again to let my thoughts out.
25. Thinking bout the good times and laughs with a lot of people. :D
26. Seeing improvements which I didn't like about myself and managing it pretty alright. :)

Stating 26 items and being 26... okay what... hahaha! Damn corny. Still a lot to learn gonna compare this list again next year. Gambate to me! Woohoo!.... :D

Lethargic...

Another reminder to myself... NEVER ever sleep too much when you don't get enough sleep in the first place. Been busy doing shows here and there and I kinda slept too much yesday and today. Now, I'm feeling tired and my body feels heavy. Good news would be I've been offered a full time job with this current company that I'm freelancing for. Before anything, I've got to discuss with Mr. Big Boss himself. The good thing would be I'll definitely learn a lot from them. Bad thing would be it's gonna be really really tiring. We will see how it goes...

A shout out to Mr. Chi-Bai@Halloween Boy@Batboy.... Happy Birthady to you. May you spread terror and fear to those who have met you and to those who knows you. :D

On a lighter note, I was thinking a certain pattern and a typical behaviour wouldn't happen, well, it did. Don't you just hate when you know a certain behaviour is bound to link from one pattern to another and when it happens it gives you flashbacks? It's such a typical result that you can't help it but you start to hate it? Hmmmm... So typical... so typical... damn... heheh :D

Cheers...

Flashback...

Last night I had a flashback on quite a lot of things about the past. Scary.... I'm just curious, whether if it's a scenario that occurs only when there's a change of event. Having to understand everyone has a different approach to things but when it comes to one particular event it turns out to be the same. How come? Not sure really.

Case 1:
Have you ever come to a point that you've never done a single thing to take advantage of a person of the opposite sex? In fact, trying to avoid them being uncomfortable... and the end result, you get them telling you, you shouldn't do this and that. More like trying to find faults in you when there isn't any?

Case 2:
The effort. You've done your part. Explaining and proving that you've already done your part to get things back on track by spicing up the friendship. Using words and fun to bring that person back to the comfort zone of friends....but the other party seems to be giving you a cold shoulder or maybe being hostile to you. Is it because they had the impression that you're not able to do it? and hoping that you'll screw it up? so that they get a chance to say you're doing things wrong again? I'm not to sure myself also... hehe

Case 3:
Being defensive. When you agreed and admit your mistakes and you try to work with that person to improve situations between the both of you but the person denies being everything that you say about them but for a fact they've done it and not being able to admit it. You get an explanation that is different then the first explanation = contradiction....

Case 4:
My favourite case. When you were once close as friends you've talk about the same things above and they hate it when it occurs to them BUT they do it in the end. Which is interesting. They hate it when people do it to them, but why they do it to others? Especially after the amount of complains they give and you've never done anything like that. Weird huh? hehe...

Case 5:
Decided to add one more case :P. When your intuition tells you something odd is happening. You decide to chill and not think about till it becomes a routine. Then you wanna get a confirmation, they say it's not like that and you are thinking too much.. Wokay then... and after a long time it's still the same and u ask again. The reply this time is "yes.. I was being like that". So much for kena blame for thinking too much... right.... hahaha.

There are still many cases I'd love to share but kinda feeling abit sleepy now.. hahaha! I've actually experience a scenario when the person apologizes for giving me hell and knows that it's wrong. I'm like.. WOW!.. apology accepted and respect given.. but... suddenly that person does it again.. and apologizes again... and does it again. In the end, I'm like... u know you're doing it.. why keep doing it again? Nonsense.. hahahah!

Kinda fun seeing this sort of behaviours. Interesting kan? :D Have a feeling a lot of people go through this as well..... *peace*. ^_^V Open conversation...... feel free to comment :D

Raya...

To those celebrating Raya, Selamat Hari Raya! Kinda late but it's still on so yeah... hahaha! Haven't been getting enough sleep lately not to sure why but it's really making me feel groggy. The feeling of being awake, alert and groggy is not a very nice combination la all I can say. Fun bit would be one of my mates is back! Been hanging out with him and another fella. It's been good. Met up Mr. Eugene Ong (main man who got alldatjazz.com started) for "dim-sum" this morning which was good. Catching up with things relating to life, music and laughs. Called a number of my raya friends, having to hear their joyful voices especially the once that I've lost touch with, including a barista from San. Fran. Coffee. Was nice hearing from them again. Well one didn't sound too good, was just plain quiet and it wasn't for raya wishes. It's always nice getting a feed of joy from people.

Having dinner at a friends place was good too. Had some spicy chicken dish, forgot what it was called already. It was just amazing. Couldn't help myself and just kept on eating and eating especially the gravy. Man it was sooooo good! Friends mom even enjoyed seeing me eat. She said it's such a nice feeling seeing someone enjoying her cooking. I seem to please a lot moms when they see me eat. HAHAHA! I really enjoy good rich food. :D

Will be away for work from 22 till the 25. JB here I come. Not something that I'm looking forward too but I'm starting to do things for the money. The importance of cash sucks. Been doing a lot of things for free, giving out some for good, spending it to cheer. Money can be earned and spending it to those that I care about is priceless. The joy on their face, priceless. Those who deserve, those who's been there for me. Even if it's not the money that concerns them but the fact of using money for entertainment and FOOD! HAHAHHAHA!

I'm not sure what I'm writing about cause I'm feeling a bit phased out right now so.... yeah... hahahah! cheers! :D

I Need To Kick My Own Ass...

Been bumming too much... I NEED TO KICK MY ASS AND START GETTING SOME STUFF DONE!!!!!!!!

Must get all this done...

- get more live shows
- start the damn t-shirt business
- get the damn website up
- break beat album
- especially my assignments

I MUST NOT BE LAZY ANYMORE!!!!!!!
*ROAAAAAAARRRRRRR*

I've been giving myself to much excuses
I need someone to stand by my side with a whip..... Hmmmmm.... which may lead to another thing.... HAAHHAHAAH!
FEELING DAMN HYPED UP LATELY
SO... IT'S TIME TO DO SOME BUTT KICKING!!!!!!... to myself....
HYPER I AM LATELY!!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

The Cure...

Just realized a couple of things lately. I think I'm finally cured from this stress issue that has been bothering me. I blogged about how my neck was affecting me badly but I missed one more problem that I never thought it would have contributed to my stress-ness.

MY FREAKIN' GLASSES!

How did I figure this out? After visiting the chiropractor and getting my neck fixed, I realised that there were couple of times I felt tired and stressed out again even though I didn't feel the strain on my neck. Having to change my glasses a couple of days back, I also realised that I haven't been squinting my eyes because everything is clearer now. Not sure how to explain this in detail but my old pair of glasses is pretty much screwed up, well, that pair was about 4-5 years old? HAHAHA! :D I've lasted 2 nights till 6am in the morning and not having to feel uber lethargic and moody the next day. Man, I didn't know there were so many other things that could have affected my mood. Scarry. Well there's one more other thing that I know would definitely make me feel fresh if I stop but... hehehe. We'll see how it goes... :P

Champion I Am...

Was doing a favour for the Mr. Halloween today. Went to MBPJ to settle his "saman" and i nicely went to tekan "Bayaran" and waited la as usual. Half an hour later it was my turn. I approached the counter and I was told that I need to get the damn documents from another counter. Went there, he told me to tekan "F" which was for his counter. So I did. Nicely settled everything I drove back and wanting to have my cup of coffee badly. Went through the exit from Federal Highway, my car start to jerk as I was turning left towards St. Paul's church. Die! My car went dead. NO PETROL SIAL!!!!!!!!!! Picked up the phone called my petrol saviour Melvin. He came to the rescue. Today I shall take note on something really really important....

A NOTE TO MYSELF:

CARS NEED PETROL TO MOVE YOU FOOL!

This is the second time that happen and Melvin is the petrol boy. Call his hotline if you need petrol! LOL!

p.s. - I IS CHAMPIONS I TELL YOUS! CHAMPIONS! *flex muscles*.... *peace*

Sarcasm...

A night with my family yesterday in KL. Was trying out couple of frames for my new pair of glasses that's going to arrive soon. We all decided to go have a look at Pavilion. Looked really grand and big but nothing that i can afford inside. So while my mom, sis and I were walking in, mom decided to look back and...

Mom : EH?! Where's your dad?!
Me : Behind la...
Mom : I don't see him also!
(dad appears way behind blending in with a bunch of people when i said way behind i really mean WAY BEHIND!)
Mom : OMG! Your daddy is SO slow LIKE TORTOISE!
Me : HAHA! It's not like you don't know that he's always slow...
Mom : True also le... but can't blame him le since his legs are short plus his weight he's gonna get shorter...
Me : WAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! MOM YOU DAMN EVIL!

Had dinner after that at Planet Hollywood. Got myself a Tequila Lime Chicken. Man, that half a chicken is fucking HUGE! HUGE I TELL YOU! Wonder what they feed their chickens.... half a camel? Geez...

-END-

WLT vs. Facebook...

Was about to leave the house just now. Saw my mom sitting down watching the tube. As usual she'll be watching WLT. I think most of you do know what WLT is. Don't know flip to Astro's evil channel 33. Thinking that she was watching WLT, I was wrong because I saw a static image and first thing I said to her, "You actually started renting all this chinese drama now ar!?". Her reply was, "No ark. I didn't rent I BOUGHT them". I.... was... just..... speechless. The thing is my mom is so addicted to it she completely owns the damn TV starting from 9pm. How addicted? Let's see...

Case 1.
(was watching a show on TV)
Mom: eh... you watching this show ar?
Me: Yah... why? You wanna watch WLT right?
Mom: Ya loh... So can I change the channel?
Me: If I said NO you would have changed it anyhow right?
Mom: Ya...
Me: So why bother asking in the first place?
Mom: Just ask only le to tell you that I wan
Me: *Speechless*

Case 2.
(i came home and cross between mom and the tube)
(in my room my phone rang)
Mom: Eh... When you coming home?
Me: I'm in my... room? I passed right infront of your eyes!
Mom: Oh is it? I didn't see you
Me: *speechless*
(it happen for the 2nd time and i just walk to the living room with my phone ringing)

Case 3.
(2am in the morning)
(i went to the living room saw my mom sleeping)
Me: Eh... if you sleepy go sleep la!
Mom: No la watching this series
Me: How to watch when your eyes are close?
Mom: Listening...
Me: *speechless*

Case 4.
(watching anime)
Mom: Eh... nice meh watching all this cartoon.
Me: Yes cause of the art and the story. Better that wathing your WLT right? What's so nice about it?
Mom: The drama la...
Me: *i rest my case*

CHINESE DRAMA SERIES ARE EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which leads to another addiction, Facebook! Are you addicted to it? How many hours do you spend going through Facebook? Best part how many applications do you have on Facebook? I'm a facebook user as well, thank god I don't spend heaps of time in it. It's scarry! So, the question is, which is worse? WLT or Facebook? You decide... :D

Problem solving...

Been going through some bad luck spree. My Harddisk dieded on me the other day. Not sure if I can retrieve my data but I bought another HD to get my laptop up and running again. First time having to open up my Powerbook to install my new HD and I took 4 trips to the hardware store to look for proper screwdrivers. Now I'm finally back online! Woohoo!

Been thinking about loads of stuff lately but is it bad? The reason why I think is to find a way to overcome situations and NOT why are these sort of things happening to me. Finding an alternate route to make things better after something wrong that has happen. Falling into depression and thinking is a whole different thing. That would normally be negative thoughts which is unhealthy. Assumptions, thinking that someone is down all the time when that person is thinking of improving his mishaps. Ask and you would know what that person is thinking about. Been through a situation where I found out someone was going to hammer me without knowing what's going on.

Mind reading. The worst thing that could have ever happen. Everyone's thinks differently. You may think you know but you don't. A hobby that everyone does, including me, what's on his mind..... hmmmm? Ask and you'll find out. Don't answer for them. Difficult? Yes, in certain cases, not wanting to know the truth that might hurt you? Very true but then again better not to assume. Finding out from another party? It's okay, but don't take that persons word, just the surface would do then you get the story from the person itself without bringing in the other party. Something happen to me the other time which I did state in my post couple of weeks back. Solved it but not sure if it was sorted out after that, I've yet to ask.

Face to face confrontation. It's the best thing to do. Only works when the other party is willing to do it also. Laying down everything infront of that person. A full conversation without interuption. Text and email don't normally work properly, a lot of misunderstandings. If you decide to do it that way, state that you may not able to convey your words properly. Face to face can be difficult when tension builds up, what do you do? Try to mantain a calm conversation with the other party, if it tension builds up, better stop before it gets worse.

Words and courtesy, the above would work if your words don't turn out right. How you structure your sentence does affect someone. Some people think that it wouldn't matter but some people just don't wanna voice it out which you may think it's okay, when they think they might offend you.

Feeling kinda brain dead writting this so I think it's pretty vague. Note that what I say is just my own opinion and some things may work, and may not work. I will always write a note like this for every opinion I give because I know I'm not right and it's an open topic. :D and smileys work too.

Last nights chord progression...

... was from minor.... to major...

Caffeine OD...

Just realized that I've been having coffee day and night, for the past few weeks. San Fran Mid Valley in the afternoons after dropping my mom off at work and Coffee Bean Sec14 at night, occasionally Starbucks Centrepoint with my babes (my laptop). Drove to Laundry last night to check out some bands again, and after many many years? I finally got to watch The Republic of Brickfields perform again. There's always one thing about raggae music, it keeps hitting me again and again. The natural high feeling is always nice. All I can say is, WE NEED MORE RAGGAE BANDS! :)

So, for the past few weeks I can just conclude that my life revolves around... coffee, more coffee, too much nicotine (which I really need to cut down on and not working), coffee, music, and coffee. A rountine that I've been doing for like... 5 years already or more?.... damn it, just realize that it's kinda... sad... (sad violin song played in background) .... BUT things changed I recently found myself a new friend after 5 years of being alone, someone who is willing to share the same passion which is having coffee!!! Someone who I met during mont kiara jazz fest!!!! SOMEONE WHO IS WILLING TO TAKE A PIC WITH ME EVEN THOUGH WE MET FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!! MY NEW COFFEE and MUSIC FRIEND!!!!!!!! *tears of joy rolling down my cheeks* PEOPLE...meet my new friend...
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(*peace*.... ^_^)

Seminar...

Was at a 5.1 surround sound seminar today organised by Nuemann, a company that manufactures high end condencer microphones. Interesting bit was knowing the history of Nuemann. Till now I was never a big fan of 5.1 surround but was interesting to know its current applications in the states these days, which is mainly for sports. Having to feel the environment but at the comfort of your own home. The crowd, the hall reverb when everyone cheers, screaming fans and what not. Good thing is, I got another idea to do something next year. Will keep in mind when my project kicks off. :) The best part of the seminar, FREE SENNHEISER earphones... hahaha! Typical chinaman.... oh and free refreshments too and the seminar was free! Really enjoyed myself, refreshing my mind with audio stuff again is fun. :D

Chiropractors are magicians in disguise...

I did say I was going to fix my neck and I did! Feeling so much better right now and I'm feeling sleepy, not lethargic sleepy but THE REAL sleepy. Heh! Good news is there's nothing wrong with my spine, I've just got muscle spasms that didn't allow my lil-spine-whatchamacallit-bones to move. Right now...

1. I'm not moody
2. My eyes are bigger
(not big to start of with but there is a difference)
3. The weird dark eye bags are gone
4. I don't easily get annoyed anymore
(was at certian somewhere today to put myself to the test... I PASSED!)
5. I can turn my head left and right without any strain
(still feeling paranoid cause it use to hurt a lot when I turn, I still turn my head slowly LOL!)
6. I don't feel lethargic anymore
7. I FINALLY FEEL FUCKING GOOD! :)

Next week another session. The doc says I need to go back cause I didn't treat after a year. I still feel funny cause my left neck and shoulder is feeling loose but my right is still feeling heavy and tense. Probably he needs another day to fix my right side? :P Oh well, it's all good now... Woo-fucking-hoo!

Slightly Clearer...

Was out with my bro just now, wanting to bitch about the music/job/industry/future stuff. Before I could even going there he just one thing, LEAVE! I read the long ranting post I did again and it was actually quite vague on details even though it was bout the music/industry/job/future thing but he managed to understand everything in there. Dude... I have only one thing to say la, you know me too well. Till a random rant like that also you know everything. Hell, end of the day also I'm still bitching bout the music/job/future/industry stuff to you which it's the same reason why I wanted to leave the last time.. so I take some credit away cause it's basically the same thing... hehe! :P

I guess most people do get stuck when it comes to work commitments. What he said was true, as much as I wanna leave and start a whole new experience and leave everything behind, I'm still feeling too comfortable living here. True that I can say. As much as you hate how things are here, it's still home, it's where we were brought up. So next week I'm gonna try to do a few things step by step.

1. FIX MY DAMN NECK STRAIN PROBLEM!
2. ASSIGNMENTS! (taboo word which I'm gonna get loads of sarcasms from a few people... *sigh*)
3. GO COLD TURKEY! (worth a try which I'm also gonna get loads of sarcams as well... *sigh*)
4. I NEED A CHEERLEADING TEAM FOR THE ABOVE! :P
5. CHEERLEADING TEAM IN BIKINIS?

My main concern now is still my neck. Was having the worst feeling ever yesterday and today compared to the rest of the other months. Thinking bout it now and just realize that maybe it's because of my previous job last year, not telling you where but some of you do know THAT place... hehehe. So... yeah... fix the neck THEN I'll probably be more focus. Had a meeting this evening as well and a friend said the same thing too. Someone actually said I look like shit today at Mont. Kiara Jazz Fest. can't remember who, see, this is how bad it's affecting me. *sigh* I think I've got to constantly blog so that I can remember my days and what I've done. Wow... long post gile babi. Better stop here.